When you get pregnant for the first time, all are doubts and uncertainty, but when you get pregnant for the second time, it is possible that those doubts are different, but even more intense. When you get used to raising just one child and suddenly get pregnant again, you may wonder how you can manage to properly care for both of you.
You may wonder if you can be a good mother of two, or at least the same as you were when you were the mother of one. But yes, you can be. You need to find a balance between the physical needs of the baby and the emotional needs of your firstborn child. You will not feel that your love is divided, because the love of a mother multiplies.
It may take a while to find your balance, but don’t despair because a little chaos at first is the most common. It may take a few months or even half a year, but there are many factors that can help you find success in this new life that enters your family. Discover some secrets to balancing your new life with a newborn and with a toddler (preschool age).
As much as you like to think that you can do it all, you can’t. No one, realistically, can do everything without something going wrong or forgetting about so many other things. You can accept the help of your family, for example, taking care of your first-born a few hours a day, to be able to have a break. Or on the contrary, that they take care of your baby so that you can have more freedom.
It is important that you accept the help that they offer you, whether it is to make you hot food, a time to hold the baby or to entertain your children so that you can take a shower or go to the kitchen alone for a few minutes to have a hot tea. Don’t forget these words: ‘Yes’, ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you very much’.
Ask for help
But it’s just as important to accept help as it is to ask for it when you need it. You may not have overly altruistic people around you, or they may not realize that you really need help. For this reason, don’t be shy and ask directly if they could help you out at certain times. Forget your shyness; don’t let it taste bad.
Call your mother or your mother-in-law and tell her that you need a break and that you need someone to go buy you milk or whatever else you need, or come home to take care of your children while you go to the quiet store to clear your mind. If your partner is not helping you enough, have a conversation with him because when you are a father, there are no ‘bits of help’, they are obligations that both of you must fulfil because you are both parents. Help comes from abroad, but in a family, the couple should not help each other, they should be complemented!
Schedule time with your older child
This may be a bit more difficult for you to achieve, at least at first (or if you have more than two children). Talk to your partner and other family members so they can take care of your newborn for a little time so you can have time with your older child, remember that he needs you a lot too.
It is crucial to do this because your child will remember when mom had a baby and when she was not given the attention she needed… And this is totally avoidable. So make sure you spend time with your older child and show him how your love is just as strong and will continue to grow every day of your life. You don’t need to do anything special, sometimes hugging your child on the couch is more than enough to connect with him.